"When children feel seen, heard, and valued, they are more likely to engage, explore, and thrive."
Why Prioritising Connection Matters
Relationships are at the heart of early childhood education. When children feel seen, heard, and valued, they are more likely to engage, explore, and thrive (Davies, 2010). Getting to know each child isn’t just about learning their favourite colour or food—it’s about understanding their learning styles, communication preferences, and what makes them feel safe and supported. As educators, we need to approach this process with curiosity and care. Some children will jump straight into new environments, while others may need more time to warm up. Some will communicate openly, while others express themselves in more subtle ways. Taking a child-led approach—observing, listening, and responding—ensures that each child feels respected and supported in their own time (Epstein, 2014)."Observation goes beyond watching—it’s about understanding how children engage with their environment, peers, and learning experiences."
Strategies for Getting to Know Each Child
Observation Beyond the Surface
Watching how children interact with their environment, peers, and educators can tell us so much about who they are (Curtis & Carter, 2013). Are they drawn to quiet, focused activities, or do they thrive in social, high-energy play? Do they prefer hands-on exploration, or are they more reflective observers? Using a variety of observation methods—such as anecdotal notes, video documentation, and group reflections—helps build a fuller picture of each child’s strengths and needs.Building Trust Through Everyday Moments
Simple interactions hold the greatest power. A warm greeting in the morning, sitting alongside a child during play, or showing genuine interest in their ideas fosters connection and trust (Davies, 2010). Children are more likely to open up when they feel safe and valued, so consistent, meaningful interactions make a world of difference.Engaging with Families as Partners
Families offer invaluable insights into a child’s world beyond the classroom. Creating open lines of communication—whether through informal chats, family surveys, or storytelling sessions—allows educators to understand children’s home routines, interests, and cultural backgrounds (Epstein, 2014). Encouraging families to share their perspectives strengthens the connection between home and early learning environments.Encouraging Peer Relationships
Children learn so much from one another. Facilitating opportunities for collaborative play and peer connections helps children feel part of a community (Curtis & Carter, 2013). Observing how they navigate social interactions also gives insight into their personality, communication style, and any areas where they may need additional support."Simple, everyday moments—like greeting a child warmly or sitting alongside them in play—build trust and connection."
Moving Beyond First Impressions
It’s easy to form quick impressions of children based on initial interactions, but getting to know each child is an ongoing process. Behaviours, communication styles, and confidence levels can change as children settle into their environment. What you observe in week one may be completely different by week ten (Berk, 2013)! Being flexible, patient, and open to continuous learning ensures that children are seen as dynamic individuals who grow and evolve in their own ways. Instead of labelling a child as ‘quiet’ or ‘energetic,’ consider how their behaviours shift in different contexts. Are they quieter in large groups but highly expressive in one-on-one interactions? Do they seek movement and activity in certain moments but engage deeply in focused play at other times?"First impressions don’t tell the full story—what you observe in week one may be completely different by week ten!"
Reflective Questions
- In what ways do I ensure my observations are capturing each child's unique strengths and needs?
- What adjustments can I make to balance structure and flexibility in daily routines while prioritising relationships?
- How do I reflect on my own biases and assumptions when forming first impressions of children?
- How can I slow down and be fully present with each child, creating space for meaningful connections?
- How do I currently build relationships with new children, and what strategies could I strengthen?
- How do I involve families in the process of getting to know their child?
The Ripple Effect of Feeling Known
When children feel truly known and understood, they develop a sense of belonging. This sense of security fuels confidence, engagement, and a willingness to take on new challenges (Epstein, 2014). It also strengthens relationships—not just between educators and children but within the entire learning community, including families and peers. As we step into this new year, let’s commit to prioritising connection over correction, curiosity over assumption, and balancing relationships with routines. Because when we take the time to really get to know each child, we lay the foundation for an environment where every child can flourish."Every child deserves a champion—an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection and insists that they become the best that they can possibly be."
- Rita Pierson
References
Berk, L. E. (2013). Child Development (9th ed.). Pearson. Curtis, D., & Carter, M. (2013). Reflecting in communities of practice: A workbook for early childhood educators. Redleaf Press. Davies, D. (2010). Child development: A practitioner’s guide (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.Epstein, A. S. (2014). The intentional teacher: Choosing the best strategies for young children’s learning (Revised ed.). NAEYC.
